So that shortness of breath the other day, I realize now what was causing it. Nerves about getting rid of my wig. Why is hair such big deal? Good grief, I'm embarrassed even mentioning it. I think I knew I was going to get rid of it, but was so scared the anticipation got the better of me. So I figured I better rip the bandaid off fast. I was thinking I was going to wait until the end of the school year, so I didn't have to confront so many people, there is only a month of school left, but I had to do it before my shortness of breath got worse.
I went straight from the urgent care office (where they did a chest x-ray for my shortness of breath) to school pick-up without my wig! Honestly, it felt like I was walking onto campus completely naked. That's how it felt. How was it? Man, everyone was so supportive, thank goodness. Once I did that, my shortness of breath disappeared. So now I am trying to rock my short hair. Honestly, I do not feel like my sassy self with this hair, more like a meek wallflower these days, but it does feel good not to wear the wig anymore.
These curls I am growing are tight! I mean SUPER curly! I don't know how to manage them which is part of my problem. Trial and error and time will help though. I have made another appointment to get my hair back to blonde. Hopefully second time is a charm... fingers crossed.
On a sweet, note, I had to share this amazing moment. My son's class had a celebration for Mother's Day. It was adorable. They sang, served us snacks then each gave a framed photo to their mom. At the top of the frame it says "I Love You Because" then each child added their own words below. My son wrote "you are brave" on mine. Brought me and a couple other parents to tears. Our children are, of course, affected by this, but to see those words from my son meant so much to me. I hope that is what he gets out of this craziness. I hope seeing his mom be brave will help him in his future someday. I am so blessed.
Here is my hair progression since chemo. My oncologist was surprised at how fast it has grown back. I'm thinking it's because I put my hair potion on every morning. (Olive oil, castor oil and rosemary essential oil). I'm getting super close to releasing my wig of its duties. My hair is still super short, although this last pic makes it look quite long. I measured it to be about 1.5 inches. Here's something funny... I went to the hair dresser to get blonde! She put an ammonia-free dye on my hair and the last picture is what I came home with. What? yes, it is more or less the same but maybe a little warmer. Ugh! I think she was super scared to put anything too harsh on me since I had to cancel my appointment the week earlier due to that crazy puffy face I had. Note to self... don't tell hairdresser you are allergic to anything before your first hair appt after chemo. I made that mistake and came home with the same hair color. Now I feel like I have to wait for another month or so before i can go back and try again for blonde.
As I mentioned, I am getting really close to going wig free. Here is my fear... people will look at me and instead of saying, wow! she has cute short hair, people will look at me and feel sorry for me and think, poor thing, she must have just gone through chemo. I'm sure I'm looking into it way more than anyone else, but there you have it. Every afternoon before I pick up my kids I contemplate just walking up to school without my wig, but then chicken out. I still need a bit more courage to do that yet.
Just a note about my severe dermatitis from last week... I still have no clue what happened or what I am allergic to. I have made an appointment with an allergist to try to find out. In the meantime, I had to put a steroid cream on my face until the burn went away. Luckily, it was more or less gone in three days.
I met with my oncologist last week and he gave me a prescription for Tamoxifen. This is an estrogen-blocking drug. 40% of my cancer cells were feeding off of the estrogen in my body (I guess that is not a significant number). This pill tricks my body in thinking it has estrogen, but really it is blocking me from producing it. I started taking it last Wednesday and noticed I was a bit short of breath. I thought maybe it was due to stress, but I am still feeling it. I emailed my doctor and promptly heard back from him. I am now not supposed to take the drug for a couple of days. If my shortness of breath does not go away I have to go to emergency room. Shut the front door! What? I guess in rare cases this drug can cause blood clots. So, now hubby is on high-alert and I don't know if my shortness of breath is from stress due to that news or something else! stay tuned...
One side note: I lost my eyelashes again and a large part of my eyebrows. Not sure why, but they are starting to grow back again. I was so concerned about my puffy face last week I didn't have time to fret about it. Onward!
Hi! I'm Amy. I was diagnosed at 44 with